I grew up with dogs. I never had a cat nor even liked them until 4 years ago when my best friend came over to show me his new tiny kitten and somehow that kitten never left my apartment and I am now the owner of a 19 lb beast. However, there is something different that I have experienced owning cats that I never experienced with owning a dog. Cat-shaming.
Whenever I tell men I own a cat I feel the air get thick and tense while they make a face similar to when one takes a tequila shot before they finally say,”Are you a crazy cat lady?” Never fails. I don’t even get to the horrific part where I admit with insincere guilt that I actually have TWO cats. I always save that bomb for later. Meanwhile, my friend tells men she has 5 dogs and their response is some variation of, “that’s awesome.”
By now most people know I am a feminist (but I try not to be annoying about it) and I write openly about my disappointment being a female in our misogynistic society. However, what they don’t know is I also get cat-shamed. So not do I only get to be slut-shamed for being a natural sexual being because I am a woman, I also get the privilege of being cat-shamed for choosing to own a cat. Because, you know, owning one definitely correlates to a high level on the crazy scale.
The term ‘crazy cat lady’ is just another label society made up to make women look off-balanced and off their rocker.
First off, cats are independent and incredibly smart. They come and cuddle you when they please. They go to the bathroom in their own designated space. They are constantly grooming themselves. And truthfully, they give no fucks about you 80% of the time. My cat Leo solely believes I exist to pay his rent and feed him. He truly believes he is an emperor. When I picked him out of the kitten line up at the highest kill shelter in Los Angeles 4 years ago I am sure he was thrilled to finally get his meal ticket.
If women were ACTUALLY ‘crazy’ we would pick a dog. Dogs are needy and attention whores. They need to shit outside and have YOU pick it up, they beg for your food, they need walks, they can’t stay alone for days at a time, they constantly need to interact with you, and hurry up, would you throw that ball already? Seriously, hurry up, before he f-ing barks. Some dogs have even killed people, when’s the last time you heard a cat killing a human? I’ll wait.
I get called a crazy cat lady for my two well-behaved, sweet cats but the lady in the Facebook viral video with 45 Saint Bernard’s (this is real) gets 15,000 comments about how she’s living the dream. You know what the real dream is? Going to Mexico for 5 days and only having to have someone stop over to check on your pets once.
The other day I saw a grown man riding a bike with a Pitbull sitting in the backseat of an attached baby carrier, no one except me looked twice. No one probably says, “Are you a crazy dog man?” But god forbid someone walk their cat on a leash, oh shit, that ladies really lost her marbles. No one is insulting the LA women who is use Target as a dog park pushing their chihuahuas in baby strollers.
So lay off us cat people. Yes, we are covered in hair and keep lint rollers in our purse, and yes, some cats are assholes, but really it’s the dog people who are crazy. Society will not bring me down. VIVA LA FELINES.
PS. This is a humorous post, and while factual, I sure do love some slobbery puppies.
PSS. My cat has an instagram @acatholdingthings and he’s cool as shit. Check it out.